Family Reunion
by Capn Nat
Summary: Put a schemeing Garp, and doting Dragon, an attention deprived Ace, and Luffy around a table for dinner...you an only guess that won't turn out well. Their first reunion and so far, it doesn't look like there will be another one. One shot. Crackish.


**The Monkey family never had reunions, with good reasons. A schemeing Garp, doting Dragon, attention deprived Ace, an the same old Luffy? This was bound for faliure. Alas, Garp planned one and they're all present! Lets see if they can even endure the night...**

**This is a little spoilerish...not noticeably but alittle. More so if you can catch the hints from the most recent developments. Some might not know who Sengoku the Buddah is...hes a fellow navy man who Garp knows very well. **

It wasn't often, well, ever that the Monkey family came together for a family reunion. Garp often said he couldn't bare to face his rebellious son, and pirate grandsons all at once. For some reason, though, he had planned a time for them all to come together.

Perhaps it was because they all knew that truth, about Luffy's father now. Of course, all but Dragon always knew about Ace's father, at least for some time, but Luffy finally could meet his own father, Dragon.

It was awkward around the table. No food had been served yet, so, even Luffy was uneasy. He was sitting at the opposite end of Ace and Dragon sat adjacent to Garp.

"Well," Garp began, "You're all finally together, and a sorry lot you are. I swear pirates and revolutionists…Geez, and I tried so hard to turn you lot into the greatest marines!"

"Calm down, dad…" Dragon interposed, even the leading revolutionist was uneasy about being around his father, bad memories of surviving in jungles and falling down gorges or something.

"Well, you can't stop me! I'm gonna be king of the pirates whether you like it or…" a slam to the head quieted the rambunctious youth.

"Now, dad! Don't hit my son!" Dragon whined rubbing Luffy's head, the boy just smiled at the attention, "So Luffy tell me about your adventures. I'm so proud of what you've accomplished. A bounty of 300,000,000 is amazing at your age!"

"Oh, right! Well I have an awesome crew, Zoro my swordsman, Nami my navigator, Usopp my liar…"

"A liar, huh? Do go on!" Dragon loved his son, he had really made a name for himself.

"Hey…um, does anyone wanna hear about my adventures?" Ace quietly stated without so much as a glance, "Hello?"

"Well, I also have a monster doctor Chopper, and a historian Robin, and a cook Sanji, and even a cyborg Franky!"

"A cyborg! Really?"

"Um, you know I work with a mythical devil fruit user. His names…"

Garp glared at Ace, "Oh, let your brother speak!" Ace hushed looking annoyed at the table. He would burn that stupid table if his grandfather wouldn't whack him for it.

"Of course I also have a skeleton! What crew would be complete without your very own skeleton?" Luffy bragged, with a crew like his he had some right to brag.

Dragon gave him a pat on the back, "You're doing well I see! I left you in some good hands," he smiled even though Garp frowned at his comment.

"I'm doing well too," Ace saw his chance to speak up, "Whitebeard's a great captain, in fact he's like a…"

"Where is Whitebeard?" Garp asked almost smirking.

"Uh, I don't know," Ace lied, "I came on my own fleet and won't know until I'm given word from my fellow crewmates." He poked his empty plate, why did his grandfather always try to get information out of him?

Dragon focused on Luffy, "Now these adventures I've been hearing about?"

Luffy smiled, "Yeah, lets see…Well, going to Skypiea was awesome! We had to modify the ship into a chicken so it could fly!'

"Chickens don't fly!" Ace growled.

"Hey, now," Dragon tried to defend his boy.

Luffy was bothered and replied, "Yeah, but ours did! Its wings went way out to here…" Luffy demonstrated by spreading his rubber arms way out trying not to hit anything along his arms length. Ace just snorted, nothing ever got to Luffy.

Garp got up while Luffy continued his story and headed into the kitchen. Ace kicked Luffy's leg under the table when Garp had left, but the rubberboy didn't even really notice and didn't halter from his story.

In the kitchen Garp peeked out the door barely and poked his head back in, "No, Buddha, nothing yet. No, Dragon can't quit asking Luffy stupid questions about his pirate adventures. Not a thing about where his revolts heading. No, Ace caught on to that a long time ago. I'll keep trying, but don't expect anything!" Garp just sighed hanging up and went to pulling his mac'n'cheese out of the oven.

Dragon and Luffy completely ignored Ace's grumbling and he stopped as soon as Garp came back with food. Luffy jumped out of his seat, "Can I help?"

"No, Luffy you'll eat it all!" Garp barked dodging the hungry kid's attacks. Holding the dish out of all his family's grasps, he put spoonfuls on each member's plate. Luffy getting the point, quickly sat down an engulfed his food.

"Ha-ha, an appetite like his old man!" Dragon laughed poking a noodle with his fork and biting a small bit of it off.

"Yeah, your appetite…" Garp sighed, Dragon liked to think he was a heavy eater. Ace though, wasn't eating at all like he usually would. He instead just sat there prodding his food to one side of his plate and then the other, "Where's your appetite boy?"

"Not hungry, my real pop, Whitebeard, makes better slop then this when he sneezes!"

"Good, at least I know the cruel pirate doesn't starve his crew!"

"He's not cruel!"

"So, Luffy? What kind of food does your cook make?" Dragon intervened to make polite conversation and stopped a potential disaster .

"Sanji? Well, it depends. He usually makes fruit things for Nami and Robin, but gives the rest of us the scraps…sometimes he'll give us leftovers. He makes great dinners though, but I always get smacked when I try to get 27ths…."

"You probably deserve it," Ace sithered, he decided he hated reunions. It's almost as if no one cared about his life anyway. Not that he wasn't use to that, when your life's a crime it isn't really a surprise.

"Yeah, maybe…" Luffy said lowly, he just stared at his empty, slightly dirtied plate. He was starting to feel bad, why was Ace so upset?

Dragon was all smiles though, he was eating with his son for the first time as a family, "Ah, I love this; we should eat together more often!" He ate another small bite, humming to himself.

"Well, son, how's the revolution coming along?" Garp questioned nonchalantly.

"Oh, great…we've finally found out the whereabouts of our…Hey, wait a minute," Dragon stopped, Garp sighed, "this is imitation cheese…" Garp smacked his forehead, and Ace poked the mac.

"How can you tell?" Ace slightly distracted by turning over the noodles.

"Well, anyway," Garp waited for his son to continue, this is what he needed to hear, "enough about me, Luffy where's your next destination?"

"Not sure," he said quietly, "Nami's in charge of that kind of thing."

"Well, I'm heading after a guy named Black…"

"Yeah-yeah, we know about Black beard…he thinks he's all the stuff and then some…" Garp had heard enough about the upstart from work. Ace just went back to staring angrily at his plate. Luffy glanced at him only getting a glare back.

Dragon looked between the boys, "So, um."

"I'm gonna use the pot," the abruptness made them all look at Ace as he left the table.

Dragon nudged Luffy's shoulder, "So, did I have another child somewhere along the way?"

"No, dad…" Luffy thought that word sounded funny coming from his mouth, "Ace is not really my brother, his dad's Go…" a hand swept over the boy's mouth.

"Luffy you know you're not supposed to say that willy-nilly!"

He nodded with Garp's hand still on is face. Dragon didn't bother to know the details anyway, not his son, not really his concern.

In the restroom Ace just sat crossed legged on the closed toilet seat. This was a disaster. Why was Luffy always the center of attention? Well, he guessed, because Luffy wasn't a crime at birth and was cuter then himself. He was always the brat, whereas Luffy was a follower who would do anything to be your friend. How would he get their attention at least?

The discussion went on fairly smoothly while Ace was in the restroom. In fact Dragon had forgotten he had left, and Garp just didn't bother. Luffy got caught up in his stories that his dad kept asking about.

After awhile Luffy looked around, "Hey, where did Ace go? He's not still in the bathroom is he?' Luffy looked worried and Garp just shrugged. With a sigh Luffy got up and headed to the restroom.

After knocking didn't work he decided that whether indecent or not, his brother needed help. So, he rammed the door open with his shoulder, covering his eyes.

Ace, who had fallen asleep peacefully, woke up with a yelp as wooden splinters almost sliced up his face. Good thing he was made of fire, he thought just rubbing his cheek. Looking at the intruder, a lost Luffy waving his arm ahead of him, Ace sighed.

"I'm dressed bro…"

Luffy looked at him tearing up, "You're ok!" He rubbed his tears away, "Thought you left because you were all upset, but you just crapped for a long time!"

Ace felt a little happy that at least one of them cared, "Alright kid, lets go back to the table and not tell gramps about the door, shall we?" Now, all he had to do was get the other two to take notice.

"Alright!" Luffy trotted off to the dinning room Ace following behind.

When they got back, Dragon had pushed aside his half eaten plate and started on dessert. Garp had already finished his waiting for the boys to return. Luffy jumped at the chance to finish off his dad's food, and soon after Ace's who just pushed the plate towards him.

"So," Ace began, "you wanna hear about my adventures yet?" Ace said more assertively.

Dragon put a hand up, "Now, Luffy was in the middle of his story about Thriller Bark, do you mind?" Ace pouted, crossing his arms.

"Oh, well…It was cool…" Luffy finished, he didn't want Ace to get mad at him again.

Dragon laughed, "Did you forget where you were? You were talking about the crazy zombie lady who threw plates."

"Oh, yeah…how could I forget?" Luffy said looking at his brother apologetically. Ace shrugged, staring off irritably.

After Luffy finished as best he could, Ace interjected, "I had a similar story except in mine, there were flesh eating zombies…and the place I was at smelt like pizza!' he lied.

"Really?" gullible Luffy's face sparkled.

"Yeah, that's great…" Dragon sighed wanting to hear more about his son.

"I lost an arm!' Ace said sharply.

"Wow! Which one?" Luffy looked at one of Ace's arms then the other, getting a little confused.

"I'm very glad for you…" Dragon said biting a small piece of pineapple upside down cake. Garp ignored them all, not getting the info he was looking for.

Ace was now very angry, slamming his fists on the counter he shout out the only thing he thought would get their attention, "Guess what! I cross-dress!"

They all just stared at him. Luffy confused, but Dragon and Garp more disgusted. Ace heaved a breath just glaring back at them, "yeah, now you know it's…out…heh!" Now they were paying attention.

"Wait and you've been associating with my son!" Dragon whined grabbing Luffy by the shoulders.

"Hey, at least I associate with him!" Ace countered.

"Now, you've gone off the deep end!" Garp yelled, "No grandson of mine is a dress wearing fruit!" He got up grabbing Ace by his ear and dragging him to the front door.

"Hey, wait!" Ace cried getting pushed out the house, "I lied! Hey!"

Garp closed the door angrily, he figured the boy had lied but honestly didn't want to deal with his family at the moment. He'll just have to call Buddha and tell him this planned sucked.

Dragon was distraught that the brat could say that about him, he wasn't even a Monkey. He decided he'd just go talk more with his son, but Luffy had disappeared.

Ace leaned against the door, sighed opening his eyes when he heard through the door, "Hey, Ace?"

"Yeah, Luffy?"

"Sorry, did I do something wrong?" Luffy sounded concerned.

"No, bro…You're the only cool one."

"Cool! Thanx! Um, hey…what does 'cross-dressing' mean?"

"Luffy, I don't…I lied." Ace wished he hadn't blown up like that. What a stupid thing to say. He should have figured he'd get kicked out.

"Oh, ok, what does it mean?"

"I said I don't so don't worry about it!" It would be better to not tell Luffy, for fear he might try it.

"Ok. Oh, did you see their faces? I've never seen Gramps get so grossed out!" Ace just laughed. Dang, he hated how Luffy could make him feel better so quick.

Needless to say, that was their last family reunion, despite Dragon's protests.

**That was a random bunch of stuffs right there! I had alot of fun writing this... the story itself was a few years in the making...i had the idea about 3 years ago...and forgot about it until i saw the summary in a random word document, and given the newest chapters...i couldnt help myself! Poor Luffy, always thinking hes the cause...it stems from childhood i think...and so does Ace's little jelousy issues.**

**Now...dont ask about Dragon's personality...it just went that way...and so far we havent really had a chance to see who he is...ANd finally, I really wish Ace's mom waas alive! Just being able to say, "I was pregnant with you FOR 20 MONTHs! How can you act like this?" would have been epic....**

**and for those who just have to see a crossdressing Ace now...theres a link to a pic of it on my profile...next to this stories description....i just had to draw it....sigh...**


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